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☆❀(¯`·._.·[玲❀玲]·._.·´¯)❀★☜::For those with wings, fly to your dreams::☞ November 28 Drought in a Fountain Please, don't cry World, for one day we will meet our destination. Please, don't agitate your foundations, for the end we will see the same direction. Shaking your head in denial, the pulse rising countless miles, is there even a tomorrow with smiles? Conquer the world, yourself, our mind goes, our head turns, our ears closed, our eyes looking up in the sky.. there goes the white bird get our hands and fly along the current of the wind jumping on the cotton like clouds we live. I feel the drought, inside the fountain of gold not even a drip of tear will fall upton the pitiless bottom dust dances rise and falls on the bosom of the bowl, remnants of a memory forgotten by time Crucial ousting of life sincere blood stains drawing the drought of a fountain. June 21 Freedom's Bliss [Vacation]Today!! today, today, today!!! I went to my first anime convention!!! cool!!! isn't it??? yeaaahh!!! ^^ I was so happy!! at first I was sooooooo shy to ask to take pics but then a friend helped me ask them -_- ... anyway, today was my first day of vacation!! yay!!! *celebrates* \^0^/ so, I had lots of fun! I hope that from today I can find pieces of enjoyment and put them together to mold it into good memories, so I can share that happiness with the people I love ^^ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- hey.. I know I'm naive alright, however, that doesn't mean foolishness in my dictionary. Even though I welcome opinions, I can't stand people pricking their noses on things like my extra paddies, get it? I mean, have u even seen me? being this critical of me, it's kind of exasperating.. don't u think? and I don't remember putting up anything abt my weight in here up 'till now... that is sort of personal. very. personal. Also, if you have any problems with anything, please just spill it out.. don't just take it out on me... saying that the real world is cruel in an indirect way, because I already know, yes, I do. and I know that I only get the live a life like this just this ONCE. so, I don't consider myself naive. Third, people view this world differently, so I want to view it in my way to lead a decent and hopefully a happy life. ok? I know this sounds delusional, but what else can the minds of people do?? we think. we know our final destination. why not just do our best? Let's do our best! let's!!! >_< / Live! live! May 27 Am I in midlife CRISIS!?I've been pondering a lot lately...
I think that everything that I've done up until now are useless...
Also, I've used my time unwisely, why is it..?
Have I reached the so called midlife crisis!? ok... now I'm scared!
I've been thinking about all the things that I've done, going back and forth between my memories of the achievements that I've accomplished.... I think they are not as important now... doing stupid things like I used to doesn't set my heart to race at all...
I want to do things that can last forever... that's my dream now, and if I can't achieve it, I'll keep on and on... that's forever now is it?
Whatever... I just wanted to write it out...
so, a few things to announce:
*I'm taking the Suck Ass Test
*I've published some of my poems in the Chinese Cultural Club Magazine [in English, of course.. I don't know Chinese]BUY IT!!!
*I'm currently sick while writing this... so if you see no sense at all... sigh... like I care.... Good Night...
May 22 Leapt to another worldHi!
It's been a while... two months?? Yeah.. about two months.
I was so busy since the trip to Albany that I even forgot to write something in here! ^^
So, as I was about to say.. things are really unpexpected!
After I read my last blog I felt I regret saying that I didn't wanted to go...
I went there in the end.. and you know what? I had a BLAST!
I think that it was worth going for the Saturday trainings.
I remember that I was about to quit when there was like two meethings left to attend,
I went up to the Language Department Office and talked to the teacher that I wanted OUT!
She, well, was upset and told me off. I went to a Language Coordinator, who has been really nice to
encourage me to go, that it is a good opportunity to develop skills that I don't even know I have.
I listened to her and kept on going. After that we [the debating group] went to Albany.
It was a Saturday. I got up really early. Went to the station and ride my way where we had meethings and trainings.
The buses were there waiting for us. We got in. After like 2 and a half hours we arrived to a SUNY college, ALbany University.
We were told that we are going to meet other debating teams from other parts of the NY State. [By the way, I am from the NYC Delegation: Brooklyn, Manhattan, Long Island, Queens, Bronx, and there is one more which I don't remember/ We all formed a delegation, while other boroughs formed individual delegations] We were there to do some activities to get to know each other. We played games and performed a skit together. It was kind of fun... Then we headed to the hotel at 12:00 AM!!!! I was like the last one to get a key to my room and wait for my roommate.
Next Morning at 6:00 AM, Sunday: We were woken up ny an annoying telephone call. After breakfast and Church services we went to the Capitol and started rehearsing for our Mock Assembly. Lunch. Then Real Mock Assembly started. It was nerve breaking and exciting. There were people who didn't talk at all and felt dishearted. As for me, I stood up and was allowed to talk. I felt powerful. ^^ It was cool!
After that we went to eat dinner at another hotel and had a party... and yeah I danced. AND we went to our hotel and slept...
Next Morning at 6:00 AM: Monday... yes! I SKIPPED school!! for the first time... yea yea... keep bragging...! ^^ so, we were taken to the capitol again but to a small section to have a meeting with the real assembly members and discuss and ask questions about our communities. And after a long run... I went home with a GREAT experience!
well... after that.. two weeks later I had another trip... to a university! ^^ March 01 A Great Grain, soaked in painEr... yeah.. finally showing myself.
Today was HORRIBLE. is it right to say that? (YO! Give me some freedom of speech here!) <--:P
I feel sentimental right now, or even emotional (for EMO) ^^;
Anyways, recently I became a Christian, it was last Sunday, I think.
I have to start reading the Bible.
And today I went to my first meeting of some kind of political debate training for Hispanics.
For people who think they know me would think that I will do great in the meeting. To those people, they are either believing in me or just pushing me away, to get me to the highest tip, and then drop me from way up there. Obviously, it'd pain a lot. Trying to get my pride too high to get the greatest impact in my downfall. That is what I see, the conspiration of people around me.
Today. 6:012 A.M. I got up.
It was cold as always, it felt purposeless to even think about the freezing temperature, because I had to get up.
After clashing the back door, I started to head to the nearby train station, I felt the chills trying to get through me. My stomach called for food, though I gave it none. I am still standing, and functional. There was no way I would delay any minute for a hunger-relief. I got lost on the way there and betwween the rain, it took a lot of courage to step out of my house alone. Yet I got myself lost and troubled another for help... I felt helpless and out of place, I felt no sense of belongin anymore.
I remembered how people used to tell me how blessed I am. I'm not denying that. I'm blessed as everyone are blessed also. I can speak and understand three languages. My appearance and look and origing gave away my sense of belonging. I either represent or be part of each side or country or to belong to none. It became a blessing and a curse.
After the meething ended, I wished that I stayed at home and do other stuff that would have been more fulfilling. I didn't feel needed in there, I did not fit. Also, I think that my presence there wasn't even appreciated. I left with a taste of regret in my mouth when I finished eating in there.
Generally speaking I am in NoWhere in Society. I am Hispanic Chinese and I belong in none.
...I don't feel like writing any more...
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